More or Less
05/04/2009
If you spend more time in your minivan than your family room, you may want to rethink the time you spend out and about. But does slowing down mean depriving your children?
Family peace and unity tend to indicate the right level of extracurricular obligations. “If your schedule rewards both you and the children, you’ve found balance,” says Adelaide Zindler, author of
Fearless Parenting.
On the other hand, disinterest, emotional resistance or exhaustion surrounding
scheduled activities should be considered warning signs, Zindler says.
Tammy Gold, a licensed psychotherapist and founder of Gold Parent Coaching, says
scheduled activities can have positive and negative effects on children:
• Cognitively: Benefits brain development, but too much stimulation can slow
development
•
Socially: Teaches teamwork, but can also introduce social pressures
• Emotionally: Causes good feelings, or depression and aggression
• Physically: Leads to healthy bodies, or results in stress responses like fatigue,
stomachaches and headaches
“Touch base with your children periodically to see if they still enjoy a particular activity,” Gold says. “Ask questions like, ‘Do you like soccer? I would like you in an activity, but you don’t have to do soccer.’”
Custom-Fit Schedules
Remember that children in this age range need nine to 11 hours of sleep, as well as family time, rest time, structured play and unstructured play, Gold says. “Slowly introduce activities during times of big transition, like starting kindergarten.”
If your child exhibits some of the negative symptoms listed above, consider those warning flags. “Look at last quarter’s activities. If you or your children dread repeating them, let your hearts do the steering for you,” says Zindler.
Blissful Balance
Free time for unstructured play also has an essential role in children’s healthy growth and development. “They are stretching their imagination, sparking their creativity and building strong bodies,” says Bobbi Conner, author of
Unplugged Play.
So give yourself and your children a break from the minivan and custom-fit your children’s activities to optimize their achievements and happiness.
